This may be the smallest room I've ever slept in. Smaller than the wardrobe at Cairo's Indiana hotel I was once forced to stay in.
I made a mistake. I had a very simple idea- to secretly record the meeting between Abdullah and Hakim. I was told they would be meeting at 7pm, so I walked outside Abdullah's hotel at 15 minutes to 7 and waited at a cafe nearby. I could see the road clearly from my seat. By seven I still hadn't seen him. I stayed on until 7:15 when I finally decided something was wrong- he was never late. I went to the meeting point. I didn't find anyone there. I waited there until 8, but I knew by that time it was pointless, they were gone. I missed the meeting. It was crucial to the film, until then I hadn't filmed anything of Hakim, nothing of the experience of finding connections and trusting strangers. I was livid, stung by such a ridiculous failure. These are the times I think I should never have started this.
I met Abdullah later that night. He told me he left the hotel at twenty minutes to seven- that wasn't what we'd agreed on. I thought I could blame him, maybe make myself feel better. We agreed he would leave at exactly seven, and I would follow him to the meeting. But he got nervous, left early. In the end I didn't say anything, I just told him I made a mistake.
He tells me what happened at the meeting, I'm seething, finding it hard to pay attention, distracted by my failure. I've had enough for now, enough recording interviews for tonight.
I'm about to turn the camera off- he tells me incidentally that he talked to Hakim about me, about the film, and he agreed to meet me. I think for a moment maybe I misunderstood. Abdullah doesn't seem as shocked by this as I am. I'm trying not to act too excited in case it doesn't happen but I think of what that interview would mean for the film. Abdullah doesn't seem impressed by the idea, but for me, I feel like I have a chance to make up for what I lost today.
I should be able to meet Hakim tomorrow, if he still agrees by then. I don't know what to ask him. I suddenly wish I'd bought the tiny hidden camera I found in London when I still had a chance, now I'm stuck trying to make my camera look inconspicuous. I'm terrified. By tomorrow night it will be over.
