I have so many doubts now. About whether this can be a compelling film with so little to show. I feel all I have so far is Abdullah talking. It's revealing, but is is going to make a good documentary? It's impossible for me to think of it now, from this perspective, when I'm still so involved. Still so close to the events themselves. Even closer now that he's asked me for money to pay the fee.
Things aren't going as I expected. They move so much faster; there are expectations I wouldn't have imagined.
I want to be excited by the experience but it's so difficult at the moment. I can't help but feel disappointed by things that are missing from the film. I feel constantly nervous, often depressed at being in the middle (merely an observer) of a life like this.
